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A Case of the SHOULDS

It seems to begin with one word… but then it begins to repeat until a heaviness ensues, spirits dampen, and an undercurrent of fatigue sets in. It is a case of the shoulds. You think they will pass, but then you hear them happening all around you. For me, that’s when I knew I had better help spread the word that this could be insidious, undermining and viral in nature.

How do you know when you have the shoulds? Early stages come with a sense

that “something isn’t quite right”. It’s often accompanied by someone else’s

standard of logic, a harkening from way back in time, along with a sense that

“there’s a right and there’s a wrong way to do things.”

The shoulds become mantras that some people say under their breath, or which

others recite frantically over the phone or while driving too fast. The shoulds can

lead to irritability, and an inability to think for oneself, a possible stomachache,

headache, loss of appetite, insomnia, or even loss of sex drive. Given this time of

year and their prevalence, here’s a general list I find to be the best prescription

for any stage of the shoulds:

  • Slow down.

  • Remember, you are not the DOER.

  • YOU are a participant in all that is BEING.

  • TIME is cycling and all is in right timing.

  • YOU haven’t missed a thing, so there’s nothing you have to make up for.

  • PAUSE and presence yourself to the beauty of every chaotic, tumultuous, shifting moment.

  • KNOW where we all really begin, and BE, exists beyond the shoulds.

  • Not sure? Believe in miracles and “BE the miracle you wish to have happen”.

  • Whenever the shoulds appear, smile, laugh at them--and if they persist, it’s

  • OK to be a bully and remind them you’re bigger than they are.

Thank you all for being in my life! Sending you love throughout these holidays,



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